directions.

y’all girls want to really know why we never stop to ask for directions?

what on earth possesses y’all to believe a total stranger? you just pull over and ask some total stranger where something is. why do you believe him.

have you ever just not been able to find it after getting directions and following them to a ‘t’? yeah, i bet you have!

i used to work in a gas station when i was in high school. and as we used to say, our job as ‘petroleum transfer engineers’ was really pumpin gas and kissin ass. we had that kind of a boss.

but i used to have people ask me directions all the time.

every day.

most of the time i was honest and gave good directions. but every once in a while, some pinhead would ask us something stupid, and we would usually be as big, and as loud a smart ass as we could. just so our coworkers, and regular customers could enjoy the stupid questions too.

i had an old friend of my sister’s ask me directions to her house one day. i gave them good directions.

i tried to charge a dollar for directions to a bank across the street once. my boss was just rolling on the floor he was laughing so hard.

it went something like

her: where’s duncanville?
me: you’re in it.
her: where’s camp wisdon road?
me: (pointing to the road in front of the gas station) right there.
her: oh! i’m doing so well! and where is the 600 block of camp wisdom?
me: this is 607.
her: oh! and where is heritage bank?!
me: (as i stood there looking at it across the street) it’ll cost you a dollar!

one of my coworkers used to actively steal the orange and white saw horses and detour signs and reroute traffic into neighborhoods himself.

and one of my high school friends worked at texas stadium during cowboy’s games selling shirts and hats on the upper deck. a lady, trying to not wait in line going down the ramps asked what was the fastest way down.

jump!

in light of the fact of our past behavior, men are averse to asking for directions now. we know.

so we got together and shared notes. that’s right ladies. we shared notes with each other a long time ago. we wrote down what we knew about where we are and shared it with out buddies. and it didn’t take long before a smart guy got ahold of the notes and put them all together.

so usually guys will go buy a copy of these notes before we go somewhere. and we’ll trust those notes. we don’t like to trust some guy named brandon, at a texaco, covered in oil. scratchin. with a crooked smile and pointing at which way is desoto.

we buy a MAP.

maps are pretty accurate.

so y’all can stop and ask some idiot, who is bored and just looking for fun in his 12 hour gas station shift, or you can buy a map too.

now, we have those cool gps navigational systems. and they will actually speak to you. guys invented those too.

y’all girls just sit back and enjoy the ride please.