Just in from my Dad.

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called ‘pullets’, and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs.

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn’t perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer’s favorite rooster was old Brewster (Brewster the Rooster), a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Brewster’s bell hadn’t rung at all! John went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

But to Farmer John’s amazement, old Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and wham bam thank ya ma’am! move on to the next one. John was so proud of old Brewster, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result … ? The judges not only awarded old Brewster the “No Bell Piece Prize” but they also awarded him the “Pullet Surprise” as well.

Clearly old Brewster was a politician in the making, who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.

Vote carefully, the bells are not always audible.