y’all ever run into a vampire?

i had lunch with this girl the other day and it was the most draining thing i’ve ever done. she just sucked the life right out of me.

no, i’m not talking about sex. sheez, if i get laid, i’ll be bragging about it. and the post won’t have a negative title.

she just sucked the life from me. she’s one of those people who just isn’t happy unless soemthing bad is happening.

kind of like the song, ‘i’m only happy when it rains’ by garbage.

whenever the world is crapping on this poor girl, she’s happiest. or at least if she gets to tell her woe is me stories to a poor unsuspecting  guy at a restaurant.

2 hours i spent listening to this girl. trying to make sense out of her troubles. after about half an hour i had to ask myself how all of this crap could happen to the same person. after an hour i started thinking she might be bringing it on herself. after 90 minutes i was crying for the check. but the waiter was running away too. when i got back to work, i needed a shower, a margarita, and a nap. i was just physically exhausted from the time i spent with her.

i’ve come to the conclusion that the girl is a real life vampire. she just moves about sucking life from unsuspecting passers by. i’m terrified of her friends and she will never be invited into my house.

give me some garlic, i bet it repels her. i bet that if i hit her with a cross, she’ll run away too!

mark my words, y’all are going to see somebizarro story about a girl found floating in the riverwalk here in san antonio with a wooden stake driven through her chest!

wasn’t me. i’m marking my house with holy water.