back in the navy when i was in monterey for the first time, i had this friend named ian coffer.

he was pretty much a smart ass, but weren’t we all. he was studying one of the low density asian languages and was slave to some air force girl in his class. he refused to admit it, but we could all see her walking down the hall in black pleather with the whip.

it was brutal.

but the brutalizing produced a lot of smack talking. whenever she wasn’t around that is.

we were bored one night and went to blockbuster in pacific grove. john denver later crashed his plane into the bay just off of pacific grove.

we took a chance and rented some worthless movie called mortal passions. it was about two brothers.

their parents died and left them a bundle of money.

one of them was amrried and was there for the death.

the other, who’s name was burke, was in the merchant marine and was not around.

but good brother took what was left to them and divided it roughly in half. he took the mansion house, and put the ton o cash that was his brothers in a safe deposit box for whenever he got home.

thing is stay at home brother was a little twitchy. he had a really beautiful trophy wife too. and she was pissed about the house. she wanted cash. she expected cash. it’s why she married him.

did i mention that before she married twitchy brother, she had dated burke?

twitchy guy was smart and never told wife about the cash he was holding for his brother. and she was pissed that she actually had to help pay bills as a cocktail waitress to pay taxes for their huge ass house.

but then burke came home.

assessed the situation and told his brother that his wife was not just a gold digging bitch, but was cheating on him.

twitchy dude didn’t believe him.

so burke followed her after she got off of work one night and caught her in the act. literally. burke is the kind of guy who didn’t allow a locked apartment door to deter him.

he confronted the girl. who was still under the guy. guy got upset and grabbed a gun. so burke took it and shot him.

then he made the girl carry the vody to the car to dispose of it.

so ian and i formed the ‘Society of Burke’. or SoB for short. we immediately gave jack nicholson a lifetime achievement membership for all of the past things he’s done.

and we even included the lurker steve, who has come forward from the depths of time, out of the shadows, to remind me of this masterpiece.

watch the show. it’s wonderful.

want to know the really funny thing?

we were in monterey, i was in arabic class. i had a couple of good friends in that class. one was named roger blankenship. he had dated a girl in our class briefly. then it was an ugly breakup. she dumped him. she dated around and tried to go back. so he dumped her. and there was tension in our class.

oh, the girls name?

christa burke.

when i announced to class the formation of the SoB, she almost burst into tears and i was shitting myself for fear of a sexual harrassment charge.

ah, but what kind of member of SoB would i be if i couldn’t do a little fast talking? i made her understand. i think i bribed her with an otis spunkmeyer chocolate muffin and a coke.